Resolutions? I’m only concerned with better organizing my to do list in 2009.
1. Be Specific
2. Pace Yourself
3. Prepare
4. Enlist Help
5. Do Research
via glamour
It’s the year for The Things That Stay the Same. And for the things that inevitably don’t. It’s okay to not look back. To reinvent. Start over. It’s okay to not know what you want while doing something you love – believe in. You can be knocked on your ass at 20, 30 and 50. Always reinvent. I’ve done it a couple of times. Happy New Year.
I think when she first moved in, I was just fine. Things slowed down, picked back up. I get to share this wonderful life with her. Months went by, decisions made out of fear, out of pain. It’s like I became a prisoner in my own life. My own mind. There was no escaping. And she’d watch me. She couldn’t get me out, none of her keys fit. But she’d always come by my cell with things. Things that got me going, fighting, ready to escape.
Where I go is where I am now.
Don’t mess with me: you hurt yourself.
In the middle of my stride now. I am walking
yes indeed I am walking through my own house.
I am walking yes indeed on my own piece of road.
Toting my own load
and yours and mine.
I tell you
I feel fine and clear this morning even
when it’s night and a full moon with my thumbprint
on it.
Everything is clamorous and quiet.
I am the only One here.
And we don’t break. No indeed.
Come hell and high water. We don’t break
for nothing.
Everyone’s here. We’re dancing. The steps of home. Of our own islands. We’re all here. The wine is touching every part of me. As if I’m moving. Moving out of an apartment. Moving out of an office. Moving out from you. I’m touching everything. We’re talking about being a woman. Domestic violence. It’s our fault. It’s not our fault. Heart, mind, body, feet, hands, lips say goodbye. The things we worry about. Being judged. Being sexual. Wanting sex. Wanting just sex. Lips say goodbye. We laugh about a lot. About sex. About lack of sex. The snow in Malibu. Everyone’s here. We’re beautiful. So many of us. The wine is touching every part of me. Body temperature mounting. Speaking to everyone. Touching everyone. We’re all coming. It’s all coming. Back. I remember this. Large rooms and crowds of people. Subways, streets, Manhattan. In my mind. When my flowers are the most attractive, I am alone standing next to everything.
